


Wingman

by AnonEhouse



Category: Ant-Man (Movies), Captain America (Movies), Iron Man (Movies), The Avengers (Marvel Movies)
Genre: Alternate Universe - Canon Divergence, Alternate Universe - Everyone Lives/Nobody Dies, Civil War Fix-It, Crack, Crack Treated Seriously, Gen, Happy Ending, No Spoilers
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-04-20
Updated: 2016-04-20
Packaged: 2018-06-03 11:28:10
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 906
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/6608953
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/AnonEhouse/pseuds/AnonEhouse
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Sometimes, it's the little things. Fate can rest on the breeze from a butterfly's wings-- or an ant's.</p><p>(I've only seen the first couple Civil War teasers. Please do not spoiler me, or anyone else, in the comments.)</p>
            </blockquote>





	Wingman

(If you are reading this on any PAY site this is a STOLEN WORK, the author has NOT Given Permission for it to be here. If you're paying to read it, you're being cheated too because you can read it on Archiveofourown for FREE.)

 

 

"Boss," Friday said, "are you going to eat that sandwich?"

"Eh, no, what, you want it?" Tony said, without looking up from the super secret files he'd hacked. He hated politics with a pure and perfect passion, but getting into it was becoming unavoidable. 

"Thanks Boss, but you know, you didn't give me teeth."

"You would have used them to bite me," Tony said automatically. Friday's sass wasn't up to Jarvis's standards, but that wasn't her fault, and he didn't want her to feel like a failure.

"Boss."

"What."

"The sandwich is attracting insects!"

Tony glanced over and saw a line of ants harvesting crumbs from a peanut butter and jelly sandwich. "You're a big girl, do something about the ants yourself."

"What shall I do, boss?"

"I dunno. Be creative."

 

"BOSS!"

Tony jumped and whacked his elbow on the desk. "WHAT?" 

"I learned how to communicate with the ants!"

"Fantastic." Friday was a little strange, but who was Tony to judge. "So you can tell them to go home."

"I did, but Boss, one of them doesn't belong to this nest. He's lonely and sad and crippled."

"Oh, my God, you're kidding me. This is an ant we're talking about, right?"

"He says his name is Antony."

Tony stopped rubbing his elbow, and turned to look at the sandwich. A large black ant raised its front pair of legs and waved at him. "You named it after me?"

"No, he told me his name. He used to have wings," Friday said sadly.

"Fine. You know what, I could use a break." Tony waved his hands. "Let's see what ant wings should look like. Hmmm... pretty... interesting structural supports... how tiny do you think we could get an arc reactor?"

 

Tony had never had a pet before. Antony turned out to be the perfect one for him, absolutely loyal and obedient to commands Tony translated through Friday. Plus, he was able to fit inside the suit and do minor repairs while Iron Man was flying. 

When everything went to hell and Tony was flying at full tilt across an airport preparing to fight Captain America- his dad would turn over in his grave- Antony was zipping along next to Tony having refused to be left alone. 

"Boss!" Friday said, "Antony says we can't fight!"

"Not now, Friday!" Tony had an itch in his shoulder. "Send Antony to check out my left pauldron, something weird is going on there."

"Antony says his queen is here!"

"I'm in the middle of something here, Friday!" Suddenly Iron Man was thrown off balance as a full grown man appeared on his left shoulder. "YIKES!" Tony tried to correct, but wound up in a three point landing with the man on his back.

"YOU FOUND ANTONY!" the man shouted.

"Jesus, what." Tony rolled over and looked up at the guy in the weird red suit who was standing over him. Antony was hovering in front of him, red and gold wings glittering in the sunlight.

"And you gave him back his wings!"

"Uh. Yes?" Tony said, confused. Everyone had stopped running and they were staring at Tony and the red guy and Antony. "He's a good ant?"

"Anyone who cares about ants is a good man in my book," the guy in red said. He held a hand down to help Iron Man get up. "Cap," he said, with an arm around Iron Man's shoulders. "Are you sure we can't talk about this? Work something out."

"Indeed," Vision said, looking intently at Wanda, "we might find we have common cause. Are we not all beings of good will?" Wanda ducked her head and blushed.

Natasha looked at Clint and shrugged. "I know I can beat you. I don't have to prove it." Clint smirked at her.

Black Panther peered closely at Sam. "Do you have relatives in Wakanda? Your features remind me of my cousin. There are few of the royal line left. We would welcome fresh blood." Sam blinked and lowered his wings. 

War Machine stalked over to Captain America. "Hey, man, I know you have your reasons, your buddy here," he pointed to Bucky who was looking extremely confused, "he needs help, and that's cool, but Tony's my man, and YOU MADE HIM CRY!" War Machine poked Captain America in the chest.

"Rhodey, no!" Tony looked around; everyone was either hugging or staring soulfully into each other's eyes (including the guy in red and Antony which was weird because Antony's eyes were so tiny) or else looking totally bewildered. "Iron Man does NOT CRY."

No one listened to him. Tony sighed. "Hey, Friday, is there a good place to eat around here?"

"There is a Panera Bread inside the airport," Friday reported.

"Mmm, yeah I love their cheese danish."

Friday said, "Wouldn't a half–Turkey Artichoke on focaccia bread with a bowl of black bean or garden vegetable soup be more nutritious, Boss?"

"We just averted a war, Friday, that calls for danish." 

Bucky looked at Tony. "I want milk."

"You got it, big guy. Friday, order ALL the things." Iron Man started walking towards the terminal, with a duckling line of heroes following him.


End file.
